Dude, what do you think sexual selection means?
Ok, setting aside that you brought up feminism then.
Sexual selection? Sure, that plays a big part, and has. Nobody said otherwise. One of the writers of that book is a primatologist in fact. Evolution generally, including natural and sexual selection specifically, are big parts of the explanation.
Though as you implied, a lot of social, cultural and behavioural changes can take place over non-evolutionary timescales.
A want is a conscious, psychological, disposition of mind, which moves us away from strictly or only evolutionary issues. As such, it would be at least be partly wrong to say that women want men to be violent and aggressive, though to some extent there is some general truth in it, up to a point. Actually, quite a lot of the time, the attitudes, characteristics and behaviours that are desired are not violence and aggression, per se, but these are correlated with some of the attitudes and behaviours which are desired (strength, assertiveness, status).
Obviously, there is a lot of generalisation in that. Just as there is a lot of generalisation in talking about male attitudes and behaviours. It goes without saying that there is (a) a lot of variation among individuals and (b) a lot of overlap between sexes and genders.
But whatever the general explanations (and they are multiple) and the variation and overlap, unless we are to make an appeal to nature moral argument ('X is good because it is natural') there is still the brute fact that there are trends and patterns of problems. We could still acknowledge and analyse that/those, and also possibly explore ways to improve matters. Changes in attitudes and behaviours are demonstrably possible, over much shorter timescales than biological evolution.
And just to briefly refer to feminism myself, we do not have to, and I don't, subscribe to many common feminist paradigms regarding explanations. Which is why I said that there is no necessity to bring feminism into this, because the issue exists of itself in any case. Though it should be noted that some or many feminists readily accept a variety of explanations, including evolution, though in general feminism still emphasises nurture over nature. But then so do sociologists and members of other disciplines, such as psychology.
Discussions about 'why', especially on the internet, tend to get bogged down in allocating or avoiding 'blame' and having big argy-bargys about it. They don't have to. Understanding causes is relevant, yes, but it could be said that finding and endorsing solutions is much more useful. Agreeing, where possible, is also arguably much, much more useful than endlessly disagreeing. I'm not saying that blame is irrelevant, only that (a) taking things personally (or on behalf of a group one identifies with) in that sense can be counter-productive and (b) 'explaining' is a better emphasis.
It would be just great if we could all discuss this in a slightly better, less pointless and divisive, more constructive way than is usually the case here on this forum, but I suspect that may be pie in the sky. I also suspect that the more reasonable members of the forum who might be more willing to do that stay away from the general topic, and perhaps even the politics subforum, because of not wanting to get involved in the unfortunate quagmire and Grounhog Day ding-dongs, which go absolutely nowhere, over and over and over.