Remedial science for conservatives: microwaves can't turn into cameras

[Tigers!]

I've never had an issue with my microwave. My toaster, however, keeps putting Jesus on my toast. Is it true Jesus is always watching?

My fridge caught me looking at pictures of other appliances on the internet, and now won't talk to me.

As long as it keeps opening the door for me I could live with the silence.

 

[barbos]

As long as it's shielded from EM radiation it will be fine inside microwave.

You realize light is a form of EM radiation?

I'm saying would be tricky to provide adequate shielding against the cooking energy while still allowing it to work in the visible spectrum.

EM radiation from microwave oven, and it can be shielded by perforated metal plate.
And no, it's not tricky at all. If hole is much smaller than wavelength then radiation can't pass.
and web cameras have tiny lenses.

 

[bleubird]

No, it doesn't. It makes the camera a hidden camera.

With a bit of imagination you can turn a microwave into a camera There are also pen cameras and watch cameras on the market.

for some one who claims sophistication in the real world you seem quite obtuse.

 

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

My fridge caught me looking at pictures of other appliances on the internet, and now won't talk to me.

As long as it keeps opening the door for me I could live with the silence.

Fridgynist

 

[DrZoidberg]

This is ignorance above and beyond the realm of believable. Kelly Ann Conway has all the sensibility of a 4 year old.
Idiocy beyond belief. Apparently she hasn't the sense to google about such things, or ask somebody to vet her before she blurts out nonsense like this.

Unless she's catering to the idiocy of Trump's supporters. She could be an.... um... politician?

 

[Jimmy Higgins]

With a bit of imagination you can turn a microwave into a camera There are also pen cameras and watch cameras on the market.

for some one who claims sophistication in the real world you seem quite obtuse.

Yeah. One can't turn a pen into a camera... they need to put a camera in the pen. You can't turn a watch into a camera, you need to add a camera to the watch. This wasn't about adding cameras for surveillance. Why bother putting something in the microwave. It'll have extremely limited use. This was about an idiot thinking a microwave could be manipulated to be used (as it already is) as a camera.

 

[SimpleDon]

It is irrelevant whether or not a camera could be mounted in a microwave; The claim under dispute is whether a remote hacker could turn your microwave into a camera, and clearly this is not possible.

The problem here is that Kellyanne Conway is representative of the rise to power of the ignorant moron. In case you hadn't noticed, ignorant morons have become more and more influential in recent years; They were always a majority, but until recently the elites have been able to keep them in their place, by creating an environment wherein ability, expertise, and knowledge were given respect.

All that has gone; The ignorant morons are now taught not only that expertise and knowledge are not worthy of respect; but also that their own opinions are valuable - that everyone's opinions are valuable (and therefore equally worthy of our attention).

Now, given that we live in a highly technological age, this causes a number of issues; and Conway's assertion is emblematic of these issues - In the world of the ignorant moron, technology is indistinguishable from magic. The ability to wield that quasi-magical power imbued experts and the holders of knowledge with awe and respect; And the ignorant morons assumed that these magi could, if they chose, do anything at all. Getting a microwave to heat up a cold slice of pizza is magic; Getting the same microwave to take photos and transmit them to Obama's secret bunker is equally magic. So both are equally plausible.

What has changed is not that stupid people now think that microwave ovens can be used to spy on them; It is that people who hold such moronic, ignorant, uneducated, and downright stupid beliefs are now allowed to hold positions of authority, responsibility and power; and to make decisions that affect everybody.

This seems to be a worldwide phenomenon, and I suspect that the Internet is responsible - never before were ignorant morons able to find a community of like-minded ignoramuses so readily.

Brexit, the election of Trump, and the rise of the small-minded nationalist worldwide are all symptoms of this; The supporters of these terrifying events are overwhelmingly drawn from the ranks of the ignorant and uneducated, and they cannot be reasoned with, as they do not value reason. They are numerous, and they accept no authority other than pure democracy, so they cannot accept reality unless it is agreed to by the masses - and the masses are incapable of grasping the realities of a modern society.

They are simple people, and they demand simple answers; And they WILL NOT accept the merest hint that the questions and their answers are anything other than simple; To suggest that complexity exists is to lay claim to the value of expert opinion over the massed opinions of the morons. And that is elitism, and cannot be allowed.

The ignorant masses really are the salt of the Earth - hard, square, and bad for your health. Most everyday technology no longer requires expertise to operate it; and until the morons have broken society to the point where the value of experts once again becomes so obvious that even they can see it, they will not be persuaded that knowledge and expertise are valuable.

We have impressed upon people that they are allowed to think for themselves; But we have failed to teach them how to think (for fear of upsetting those who do not wish to think; and for fear of the dangers of teaching people what to think), and this is the result. They want to be led, but are wary of being misled; So they follow people who are prepared to tell them what they want to hear, and refuse to follow anyone who dares to contradict their conspiracist nonsense. The only way to gain power in this environment is to be utterly unscrupulous - and so no person with scruples can come to power, and we are led by crooks and idiots, while they are cheered in their efforts by the great mass of ignoramuses who are too stupid to see that ignoring the advice of the knowledgeable is a recipe for disaster.

We are witnessing the Dunning-Kruger effect on a planetary scale. It remains to be seen whether our civilization will survive it.

Here you go, strutting around your triple digit IQ. We simple folks resemble you elitists, looking down on us with your big words.

But this is what I have been saying here for a long time. We have to summon the courage to start ignoring the conservatives again, like we did in the 1930's into the 1970's.

The only reasonable answer to the question is, Yes, 40 million people can be wrong.

It is obvious from the Reagan, Bush² and now the Trump administrations that conservatives can't run the government. Why would anyone vote for people who say that government doesn't work to run the government?

 

[James Brown]

"Sorry, Mr. President, we're not going to waste tax payer money on a Congressional investigation because your claim is bullshit, just like almost everything else you've ever claimed as fact." - said no politician ever.

The Lesson of 2016: Rabid Congressional Investigations Work

I want to suggest something the 2016 election does teach us: persistent, obsessive investigations pay off. In the 90s, Republicans started investigating Whitewater. Even Ken Starr knew there was nothing to this after a couple of years, but he was put under pressure to keep at it, and eventually he hit some fluke paydirt: Monica Lewinsky. This had nothing to do with Whitewater, but who cares? Scandal is scandal, and it rubbed off enough on Al Gore that Republicans took back the presidency in 2000.

Fast forward to 2012. Hillary Clinton did nothing wrong related to Benghazi. That was clear pretty quickly, but Republicans kept at it. I laughed at them at the time, but they had the last laugh when they once again hit a fluke bit of paydirt: Clinton's private email server. Clinton didn't really do anything seriously wrong here either, but it didn't matter. Republicans kept at it for the next year and a half, and that was enough to convince a lot of people that Clinton was, somehow, corrupt and untrustworthy. That allowed Republicans to retake the presidency

 

[DrZoidberg]

The Lesson of 2016: Rabid Congressional Investigations Work

I want to suggest something the 2016 election does teach us: persistent, obsessive investigations pay off. In the 90s, Republicans started investigating Whitewater. Even Ken Starr knew there was nothing to this after a couple of years, but he was put under pressure to keep at it, and eventually he hit some fluke paydirt: Monica Lewinsky. This had nothing to do with Whitewater, but who cares? Scandal is scandal, and it rubbed off enough on Al Gore that Republicans took back the presidency in 2000.

Fast forward to 2012. Hillary Clinton did nothing wrong related to Benghazi. That was clear pretty quickly, but Republicans kept at it. I laughed at them at the time, but they had the last laugh when they once again hit a fluke bit of paydirt: Clinton's private email server. Clinton didn't really do anything seriously wrong here either, but it didn't matter. Republicans kept at it for the next year and a half, and that was enough to convince a lot of people that Clinton was, somehow, corrupt and untrustworthy. That allowed Republicans to retake the presidency

But was it really the e-mails? Isn't it more likely that Americans just tend to vote for "the other" party every eight years? Hillary had to be super super likeable to win this time, and she just wasn't. Doesn't the fact that she lost to Trump mean that she would have lost to an actual tarantula?

All aboard the derail train.

 

[Elixir]

Doesn't the fact that she lost to Trump mean that she would have lost to an actual tarantula?

No. Tarantulas (Tarantulae?) have too much hair.
Oh, wait...

 

[Shadowy Man]

But was it really the e-mails? Isn't it more likely that Americans just tend to vote for "the other" party every eight years? Hillary had to be super super likeable to win this time, and she just wasn't. Doesn't the fact that she lost to Trump mean that she would have lost to an actual tarantula?

Her loss was razor thin. When you're down in the noise, the statistics are susceptible to many different things.

 

[DrZoidberg]

But was it really the e-mails? Isn't it more likely that Americans just tend to vote for "the other" party every eight years? Hillary had to be super super likeable to win this time, and she just wasn't. Doesn't the fact that she lost to Trump mean that she would have lost to an actual tarantula?

Her loss was razor thin. When you're down in the noise, the statistics are susceptible to many different things.

Because she was up against a pussy-grabbing tarantula. If she'd been up against someone with a soul she'd have been destroyed. He couldn't have fucked up more in that campaign and she still lost. Ergo, she would have lost no matter what.

 

[Mumbles]

I'm actually trying to think of a way to turn a microwave into a camera...

It's just not possible.

 

[bilby]

I'm actually trying to think of a way to turn a microwave into a camera...

It's just not possible.

Sure it is - just start speaking Latin. 'Camera' means 'chamber' or 'room'; a microwave oven is a chamber in which food can be placed; so a microwave is a camera.

Sorted.

(Sadly, if you ask anyone in the Trump administration about the Latin language, they will likely think you mean Spanish).

 

[Don2 (Don1 Revised)]

I'm actually trying to think of a way to turn a microwave into a camera...

It's just not possible.

We can't do it with our current human technology, but Illuminati lizard people (the Deep State) can probably do it. They can do a lot. I just read today that they tried to assassinate Roger Stone this morning on his way to a show with Alex Jones. He doesn't have any witnesses probably because the Deep State Illuminati lizard people were invisible. You have to wear special sunglasses to see them. I shouldn't even be writing this. I could be next.

 

[Elixir]

I'm actually trying to think of a way to turn a microwave into a camera...

It's just not possible.

Bilby has an idea, so does Don2. But their ideas are either a reach or... well, they're both a reach. But mine is rock solid:

1) Break the microwave into its components and separate them by material type.
2) Melt down all the different component types into raw material, set aside and reserve.
3) Build a camera from the wealth of raw materials you now have at your disposal.

Damn - that reminds me. The DISPOSAL!
Gotta check it for cameras...

 

[Loren Pechtel]

You realize light is a form of EM radiation?

I'm saying would be tricky to provide adequate shielding against the cooking energy while still allowing it to work in the visible spectrum.

EM radiation from microwave oven, and it can be shielded by perforated metal plate.
And no, it's not tricky at all. If hole is much smaller than wavelength then radiation can't pass.
and web cameras have tiny lenses.

The plate will stop *most* of the energy. Plenty for user safety but even tiny amounts on the camera sensor will mess up the picture.

 

[Elixir]

EM radiation from microwave oven, and it can be shielded by perforated metal plate.
And no, it's not tricky at all. If hole is much smaller than wavelength then radiation can't pass.
and web cameras have tiny lenses.

The plate will stop *most* of the energy. Plenty for user safety but even tiny amounts on the camera sensor will mess up the picture.

Couldn't you filter out the interfering frequencies at the sensor level?
Just tryin' to help, lest our illustrious President shown to be delusional or an abject liar.

 

[Shadowy Man]

Her loss was razor thin. When you're down in the noise, the statistics are susceptible to many different things.

Because she was up against a pussy-grabbing tarantula. If she'd been up against someone with a soul she'd have been destroyed. He couldn't have fucked up more in that campaign and she still lost. Ergo, she would have lost no matter what.

I think she could have won against a different Republican, one who didn't appeal to the masses like Trump did. She really only needed about 100,000 more votes to win (combined margins of WI, MI, and PA).

 

[Loren Pechtel]

The plate will stop *most* of the energy. Plenty for user safety but even tiny amounts on the camera sensor will mess up the picture.

Couldn't you filter out the interfering frequencies at the sensor level?
Just tryin' to help, lest our illustrious President shown to be delusional or an abject liar.

The problem is you're dealing with an imaging device--induce energy in there and you'll see it as light pixels.