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What did kids yell when doing "cannonball" dives before there were cannons?
You misunderstand. It was a guy watching kids do cannoballs into a pond that inspired him to invent cannons.


Name three things that are better with ketchup.
 
What did kids yell when doing "cannonball" dives before there were cannons?
You misunderstand. It was a guy watching kids do cannoballs into a pond that inspired him to invent cannons.


Name three things that are better with ketchup.

Trump Steaks, Trump vodka and Trump wine.

If you had a hammer, would you hammer in the morning or the evening?
 
You misunderstand. It was a guy watching kids do cannoballs into a pond that inspired him to invent cannons.


Name three things that are better with ketchup.

Trump Steaks, Trump vodka and Trump wine.

If you had a hammer, would you hammer in the morning or the evening?

No. It bothers the neighbors.
Why isn't ketchup blue?
 
Trump Steaks, Trump vodka and Trump wine.

If you had a hammer, would you hammer in the morning or the evening?

No. It bothers the neighbors.
Why isn't ketchup blue?

Because it hasn't yet grasped the full implications of the Trump presidency.

Why aren't violets blue - and why does the verse claim that they are?
 
Why aren't violets blue - and why does the verse claim that they are?

That's a popular misunderstanding of the verse. It originally said "Vile Hits are Blue." The meaning of this phrase has been lost in the anals of history.

How many Lowes would a Rob Lowe rob if a Rob Lowe could rob Lowes?
 
How many Lowes would a Rob Lowe rob if a Rob Lowe could rob Lowes?

All of them.

Is it possible to sneak up on a sneaky bastard?
 
Why do garden fairies allow blight on my tomatoes?

They don't. Although garden fairies exist tomatoes don't.

Which is more likely to get noticed? A tarantula on the keyboard or a turd in the punch bowl?

A turd in the pool!

How exactly do you tell a parent that their child is a little turd?
 
How exactly do you tell a parent that their child is a little turd?

They say it's always best to ask people thought-provoking questions rather than simply feed them the answer:

"Hey, is that little turd your kid?"


When is Mel Brooks' "History of the World Part II" coming out?
 
How exactly do you tell a parent that their child is a little turd?

They say it's always best to ask people thought-provoking questions rather than simply feed them the answer:

"Hey, is that little turd your kid?"


When is Mel Brooks' "History of the World Part II" coming out?

Can't say for sure, but I know it's good to be the king.

On several occasions while invisible I have grabbed women's pussies and walked in on naked teenage beauty pageant contestants. Could you trust yourself with invisibility?
 
They say it's always best to ask people thought-provoking questions rather than simply feed them the answer:

"Hey, is that little turd your kid?"


When is Mel Brooks' "History of the World Part II" coming out?

Can't say for sure, but I know it's good to be the king.

On several occasions while invisible I have grabbed women's pussies and walked in on naked teenage beauty pageant contestants. Could you trust yourself with invisibility?

Hell, no I wouldn't trust myself! Planet Fitness ladies locker room, here I come.

Why does getting drunk feel so good? (Can you guess what I'm doing right now?)
 
I'm gonna go with fuckfaces on that one.

Nah, it's either fucks-face (like Lieutenants General); or it could be an irregular plural: Fuckfacii, or fuckfacae, perhaps.

What's the plural of Tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon?

Shitgibbons?

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Dammit, that was a trick question wasn't it? I knew it!! :brood: There is no plural of Tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon. There's only one of those in existence.
 
Nah, it's either fucks-face (like Lieutenants General); or it could be an irregular plural: Fuckfacii, or fuckfacae, perhaps.

What's the plural of Tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon?

Shitgibbons?

- - - Updated - - -

Dammit, that was a trick question wasn't it? I knew it!! :brood: There is no plural of Tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon. There's only one of those in existence.

I most fervently hope so. One is at least one too many.

What is the average air speed velocity of an unladen European swallow?
 
Shitgibbons?

- - - Updated - - -

Dammit, that was a trick question wasn't it? I knew it!! :brood: There is no plural of Tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon. There's only one of those in existence.

I most fervently hope so. One is at least one too many.

What is the average air speed velocity of an unladen European swallow?

42.

What is "air speed velocity"? Is velocity not speed?
 
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