All Chick-fil-A restaurants raptured

[SLD]

Chick-Fil-A Raptured

ATLANTA—In a harrowing fulfillment of biblical prophecy that left customers screaming as their fast food orders disappeared before their eyes, panicked sources reported Tuesday that every Chick-fil-A store had been raptured. The massive heavenly event began at 12:02 p.m. EST when a large burst...

theonion.com

In another rare scoop of the news by the Onion, Chick-fil-A restaurants have all been raptured.

Christians have been predicting this for 2,000 years, but we heathens wouldn’t listen to them. And now god has taken away all of the Chick-fil-A’s leaving us to eat Arby’s.

 

[pood]

Devoted customers (Trump supporters) donned cow costumes and held signs saying, “Eat mor chikin.” Yup, sounds about right.

 

[ZiprHead]

Is the one they are presently building here in my town included? I certainly hope so.

 

[ideologyhunter]

We were warned. Here's Commander Jesus talking at MT 23:37.
"How often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings."
He didn't fully explain that the chicks would be dead, breaded, and greasy.
I am a bit concern about the physical plant of Chick-Fil-A, plus the sides and sammies, going to heaven. (Cinnabon I could see getting raptured. Their crap is beyond crack cocaine level and approaches a sort of evangelical orgasm in the consumer.) Couldn't the actual stores be left behind, as gay wedding chapels or something?

 

[hurtinbuckaroo]

Is the one they are presently building here in my town included? I certainly hope so.

Not if it hasn’t been consecrated, which normally happens just before the grand opening.

 

[Loren Pechtel]

So are the buildings empty or gone?

Or can't they spell and will I find the local place has burst?