Retirement--Stateside and elsewhere

[Toni]

I so greatly appreciated the participation in my earlier thread about health care. Thank you everyone for taking the time and effort to let me see how it works in other parts of the world.

So, can I ask some questions about retirement?

In the US, until relatively recently, many people had a defined benefit retirement plan/pension through their work place. In addition, most people also had some social security benefit as well, which is funded through paycheck deductions, and is built on the premise that the workforce will continue to grow. Current workers actually fund current retirees, and in return, will have their retirement funded. Or that was the plan but given the slower population growth, among other things, this has become problematic. Always, people have also set up accounts, accumulated/shielded wealth in ways to protect their interests and income in retirement, in addition to SS and any pension they might be entitled to.

Currently, there is a huge push to get people to fund their own private retirements through 401K or 403B (depends on whether you work for a for profit or non-profit entity), pretty often through funds set up through their work places. Most Americans my age have grossly inadequate savings to fund their retirement. Personally, I am grossly underfunded in terms of retirement because I took much longer time away from work than I had anticipated in order to raise our family/follow my husband's career. There will (probably) be a very small pension from work and also a very modest amount of money from SS. Fortunately, husband has been able to carry the same retirement fund along with him since his first professional job, many years ago, and it has now grown to a decent amount of money, enough to take care of both of us in only somewhat modestly reduced circumstances, depending on how the market does, etc. He will also collect SS in larger amounts than I will as he has a longer work history and except for the early years of our marriage, has been the higher earner, and often the only earner. We'll have Medicare for health care plus supplements, our home will be paid for, and we anticipate no outrageous expenditures needed. We'll be secure and not poor and able to do a little of the fantasy stuff. We're luckier than most people. Biggest concerns are if one or both of us end up requiring long term care. That will eat up our nest egg very quickly. I've watched it do so with family members so I am not naive about that. In an ideal world, we will be able to leave some $ to offspring. Husband and I differ as to how important that is and how much we hope to leave. I hope to leave the principal of our retirement untouched; him? Not so much.

How do people in other countries manage retirement? How is it funded? US and outside: how do you decide when it's time to retire?

 

[Philos]

Hi Toni,

Good OP.

Well, my wife and are both retired and in receipt of good pensions. Have to admit that these pensions are generous because of previous public sector politics in the UK. As mentioned in your OP, younger folks are 'on their own' as Barack Obama used to say. Much tougher for them.

Our generation (and us) are also property rich. The way to lose this nest egg is long term care. None of our deceased family needed that, and I'm hoping for a quick end myself. Fortunately our kids are self sufficient and hard workers, so maybe inheritance isn't so important for them.

In the end, its only money. When we are gone, we are gone.

A.

 

[TV and credit cards]

US and outside: how do you decide when it's time to retire?

If you can afford to retire and it's more or less time to retire, one morning you'll wake up, be going through your morning routine and like the air of the first day of spring, it'll hit you.
It's time.

 

[Toni]

US and outside: how do you decide when it's time to retire?

If you can afford to retire and it's more or less time to retire, one morning you'll wake up, be going through your morning routine and like the air of the first day of spring, it'll hit you.
It's time.

Oh, make no mistake: I'm ready to retire. I'm just not certain my finances are ready for me to retire. The only thing--and I mean the ONLY thing that keeps me heading to work is money/uncertainty. I've always had plenty of other interests to keep my going plus a house that needs some time and attention (and money. sigh). I'm not worried I'll lose my sense of self or be bored.

I'm worried about running out of money if I retire say, within a year rather than within 3 years or, if I am a good girl and do as the IRS tells me, 5 or 6 more years. Hubby is completely fine with me quitting tomorrow. But I actually pay the bills.....

 

[James Brown]

Lots of useful reading and calculators here.

 

[DolphinDynasty]

I so greatly appreciated the participation in my earlier thread about health care. Thank you everyone for taking the time and effort to let me see how it works in other parts of the world.

So, can I ask some questions about retirement?

In the US, until relatively recently, many people had a defined benefit retirement plan/pension through their work place. In addition, most people also had some social security benefit as well, which is funded through paycheck deductions, and is built on the premise that the workforce will continue to grow. Current workers actually fund current retirees, and in return, will have their retirement funded. Or that was the plan but given the slower population growth, among other things, this has become problematic. Always, people have also set up accounts, accumulated/shielded wealth in ways to protect their interests and income in retirement, in addition to SS and any pension they might be entitled to.

Currently, there is a huge push to get people to fund their own private retirements through 401K or 403B (depends on whether you work for a for profit or non-profit entity), pretty often through funds set up through their work places. Most Americans my age have grossly inadequate savings to fund their retirement. Personally, I am grossly underfunded in terms of retirement because I took much longer time away from work than I had anticipated in order to raise our family/follow my husband's career. There will (probably) be a very small pension from work and also a very modest amount of money from SS. Fortunately, husband has been able to carry the same retirement fund along with him since his first professional job, many years ago, and it has now grown to a decent amount of money, enough to take care of both of us in only somewhat modestly reduced circumstances, depending on how the market does, etc. He will also collect SS in larger amounts than I will as he has a longer work history and except for the early years of our marriage, has been the higher earner, and often the only earner. We'll have Medicare for health care plus supplements, our home will be paid for, and we anticipate no outrageous expenditures needed. We'll be secure and not poor and able to do a little of the fantasy stuff. We're luckier than most people. Biggest concerns are if one or both of us end up requiring long term care. That will eat up our nest egg very quickly. I've watched it do so with family members so I am not naive about that. In an ideal world, we will be able to leave some $ to offspring. Husband and I differ as to how important that is and how much we hope to leave. I hope to leave the principal of our retirement untouched; him? Not so much.

How do people in other countries manage retirement? How is it funded? US and outside: how do you decide when it's time to retire?

This is an interesting post. I don't think most Americans think about the future in what it costs, to live, to eat, to remain moderately happy with hobbies to pass the time. And not even through retirement but just while working.

I doubt I'll have a nest egg, but its more because I sincerely look for my health to get worse and am often glad for it, so then I won't have to worry about what to do to fund long term care on my own, without enough work time and no more funds to cash out as I've already had to do that twice.
I think many people believe if they plan for a rainy day and that rain never actually comes then they were somehow not as happy because they never traveled when young or bought what they wanted when they wanted to.

I guess there really is no happy medium in anything despite my looking so long and hard for it.

I guess if you're solvent enough to retire and in decent health too, then I'd say go for it. Waiting until you have to can mean far less enjoyment and far more stress about money and health.

 

[TV and credit cards]

If test driving retirement is an option, I'd recommend it. Take it out for a spin. No rule against going back to work at a later date.
I retired from the navy in late '08, the economy tanked and I ended up not working for the next three and a half years. It was enlightening. Not what I expected. A frugal, stress free lifestyle. And I slept through from 2300 to 0600 everyday. Sleeping until 06, can you imagine? It was wonderful.

 

[Elixir]

If you can afford to retire and it's more or less time to retire, one morning you'll wake up, be going through your morning routine and like the air of the first day of spring, it'll hit you.
It's time.

Oh, make no mistake: I'm ready to retire. I'm just not certain my finances are ready for me to retire. The only thing--and I mean the ONLY thing that keeps me heading to work is money/uncertainty. I've always had plenty of other interests to keep my going plus a house that needs some time and attention (and money. sigh). I'm not worried I'll lose my sense of self or be bored.

I'm worried about running out of money if I retire say, within a year rather than within 3 years or, if I am a good girl and do as the IRS tells me, 5 or 6 more years. Hubby is completely fine with me quitting tomorrow. But I actually pay the bills.....

Is any of really confident about retirement?
When I was 18 years old and made $4k one time on a freak deal, I thought I was rich forever.
When I was 22 and owned a house (actually three shacks), I thought I was rich beyond all need.
So many times, I thought I'd never have to work again... and in fact, I don't know if I DID have to work again.
But I always did, for reasons I'd have a hard time explaining.
Now I'm 67, and mostly think I really do want to retire... but - yesterday I got a letter of intent from an entity wanting to buy the business that I own 1/4 of, and suddenly, I didn't want to cut it loose.
It would mean not working (after a year or so of transition/consulting) and would be a lot of $$ ... I've been lucky, and probably could actually retire and not starve if we sell.
But without a deep trust that a new owner would take good care of "my" ten-year-old baby (the Company), the idea of this sale made me feel weird. Partly because the buyer would probably make ALL their money back in four years - or less, if they do a good job. But then I pondered twice or even five times the money... still feel weirdly like I don't want to do it for some irrational reason.
Maybe age has degraded my faculties to the point where I don't know what's good for me. Or maybe this inner conflict is universal to any human in a similar situation. I don't know. But by now, I'm fairly certain that the image most of us hold for "retirement" is an illusory thing that has little correspondence to anything in actual reality.

 

[Philos]

I guess if you're solvent enough to retire and in decent health too, then I'd say go for it. Waiting until you have to can mean far less enjoyment and far more stress about money and health.

DD and folks,

This might sound strange, but I don't think retirement is about money.

A.

 

[Toni]

Seriously: the only thing I worry about re: retirement is the money.

Maybe it's because I'm a woman. I don't have any of my sense of self invested in my career/job. All I really want is enough money to do much needed repairs/reno on my home, to be able to do some traveling, and have affordable access to health care. A vacation home would be nice but I recognize this is a fantasy.

 

[southernhybrid]

I am pleased that you started this thread, despite the fact that I live in the US, I would like to add my own difficult decision regarding retirement. I just turned 68 and still work as an RN two days a week. I am at the point where I mostly only work for the added income. My husband lost his job as an engineer two years ago due to the closing down of the company where he worked. He loves not working and he's three years younger than I am. We have no debt, more savings than most boomers and we live in an area with a very low cost of living. In addition to SS, we have a couple of very small pensions which amount to almost enough to pay for our Part B and D Medicare premiums.

My biggest worry is long term care. I've cared for older adults since I was in my mid twenties, in home health and long term care. Long term care can eat up your money in a matter of several years or less. The average nursing home cost about 10K a month and the average assisted living facility is anywhere from 2500 to 7K depending on where you live. There is also expected to be a huge shortage of care givers and nurses in the coming decades, partly due to very low pay for aides and the retirement of professional nurses. I would prefer to die rather than enter into long term care, but having the courage to end one's life isn't always easy. And, when you are a couple, it's not easy to end your life when someone else is very attached to you, and vice versa.

I have been thinking of writing a letter to the people that pay me for my contract work to let them know that I am planning on retiring in the next several months or as soon as they find a replacement. I also suffer from chornic arthritic pain and don't know how much longer I can put off knee replacement surgery. Ouch ouch ouch!

I want to relocate to Indianapolis to be close to my son and grandkids, but all of this seems so overwhelming that I just keep putting off this decision. Part of the problem is a spouse that agrees to let me make the decision without helping me. For example, our current home is full of his clutter but in two years, very little has been removed. This is that hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and I've done a lot of difficult things in my life, including relocating about five times to different states, going through a difficult divorce and raising a child. Nothing compares to this. Can anyone relate to that or was your retirement decision easy?


How do you find a good realtor? How do you find help for cleaning out your house, getting rid of clutter, and fixing up a few things. We've already spent a small fortune updating the house. I love the house but I'm totally fucking overwhelmed!! We have a pool, a huge yard, and way too much space for two older adults. And, how do you find someone to help you rehome two 26 year old parrots?That's another story of its own. And, due to my life long work caring for older people, I know how important it is to have a good social network in place, which is my primary reason for wanting to get out of here. It's overwhelming! I doubt anyone has good advice, but sometimes you just have to vent and it helps to know that you're not the only one facing this stuff.

 

[Elixir]

Seriously: the only thing I worry about re: retirement is the money.

This might sound strange, but I don't think retirement is about money.

A.

Hard to know about your situation Toni, but I tend to agree with Alex. Retirement as a concept is hard-core nuts and bolts about money/sustainability. But retirement as a reality is far more about who you want to be, as a "retiree".
An awful lot of people I know who drew a line and stepped over it into retirement, found themselves unhappy. Not so much that their sense of self was invested in their workplace persona, as that they didn't realize of much their connection to society as a whole was dependent upon the interface with society that the workplace provided.
That's sort of what is afflicting me right now ... outside of work, I have good connections to the local horse community... trainers, riders, hay ranchers etc.. But the workplace connects me to the art community, music, law enforcement, social work etc. etc., all of which enriches my day to day experience. I don't think I could keep those connections, absent some rationale (no matter how flimsy) for interacting with them.

Beware of what you want, Toni.

 

[Toni]

Seriously: the only thing I worry about re: retirement is the money.

Hard to know about your situation Toni, but I tend to agree with Alex. Retirement as a concept is hard-core nuts and bolts about money/sustainability. But retirement as a reality is far more about who you want to be, as a "retiree".
An awful lot of people I know who drew a line and stepped over it into retirement, found themselves unhappy. Not so much that their sense of self was invested in their workplace persona, as that they didn't realize of much their connection to society as a whole was dependent upon the interface with society that the workplace provided.
That's sort of what is afflicting me right now ... outside of work, I have good connections to the local horse community... trainers, riders, hay ranchers etc.. But the workplace connects me to the art community, music, law enforcement, social work etc. etc., all of which enriches my day to day experience. I don't think I could keep those connections, absent some rationale (no matter how flimsy) for interacting with them.

Beware of what you want, Toni.

Because I have a long commute to work, i don't have much of a relationship with co-workers outside of work. The long commute also has severely hampered my more local social life. It is almost impossible for me to just have a casual dinner with friends, for example. Almost always any volunteer activity I want to engage in happens when I have to work. One of the big reasons we don't travel is because it's really hard for me to get away from work for longer than a week or so. All of our vacations are within a days travel because of this. And on this continent, because otherwise the cost of airfare is hard to justify. Hubby has a more flexible schedule with long summer breaks. So there is also that disparity.



To be honest the only big thing I want to change is not having to go to work.

 

[Toni]

I am pleased that you started this thread, despite the fact that I live in the US, I would like to add my own difficult decision regarding retirement. I just turned 68 and still work as an RN two days a week. I am at the point where I mostly only work for the added income. My husband lost his job as an engineer two years ago due to the closing down of the company where he worked. He loves not working and he's three years younger than I am. We have no debt, more savings than most boomers and we live in an area with a very low cost of living. In addition to SS, we have a couple of very small pensions which amount to almost enough to pay for our Part B and D Medicare premiums.

My biggest worry is long term care. I've cared for older adults since I was in my mid twenties, in home health and long term care. Long term care can eat up your money in a matter of several years or less. The average nursing home cost about 10K a month and the average assisted living facility is anywhere from 2500 to 7K depending on where you live. There is also expected to be a huge shortage of care givers and nurses in the coming decades, partly due to very low pay for aides and the retirement of professional nurses. I would prefer to die rather than enter into long term care, but having the courage to end one's life isn't always easy. And, when you are a couple, it's not easy to end your life when someone else is very attached to you, and vice versa.

I have been thinking of writing a letter to the people that pay me for my contract work to let them know that I am planning on retiring in the next several months or as soon as they find a replacement. I also suffer from chornic arthritic pain and don't know how much longer I can put off knee replacement surgery. Ouch ouch ouch!

I want to relocate to Indianapolis to be close to my son and grandkids, but all of this seems so overwhelming that I just keep putting off this decision. Part of the problem is a spouse that agrees to let me make the decision without helping me. For example, our current home is full of his clutter but in two years, very little has been removed. This is that hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and I've done a lot of difficult things in my life, including relocating about five times to different states, going through a difficult divorce and raising a child. Nothing compares to this. Can anyone relate to that or was your retirement decision easy?


How do you find a good realtor? How do you find help for cleaning out your house, getting rid of clutter, and fixing up a few things. We've already spent a small fortune updating the house. I love the house but I'm totally fucking overwhelmed!! We have a pool, a huge yard, and way too much space for two older adults. And, how do you find someone to help you rehome two 26 year old parrots?That's another story of its own. And, due to my life long work caring for older people, I know how important it is to have a good social network in place, which is my primary reason for wanting to get out of here. It's overwhelming! I doubt anyone has good advice, but sometimes you just have to vent and it helps to know that you're not the only one facing this stuff.

My hat is off to you for continuing to work in what I know to be a stressful job, even with going to be part time.

Like you, I worry very much about long term care, which is the biggest difference between myself and my husband. I know what skilled nursing home care costs, and also what it costs to live in a decent senior complex a step above assisted care, and also assisted care. Hopefully, we are a long way away from that stage and frankly, hopefully, it will never come to pass.

At this point, I truly am working for additional income. Hubby won't retire for another 4 years or perhaps 5 or 6, depending on health, and financial health. I feel extremely selfish for wanting to retire sooner, as we cannot afford for both of us to retire. Or rather, we could but I don't think either of us would be happy with the sacrifices we'd have to make. I've certainly been poor--and our early years were very lean but that early year poverty was something we certainly knew (and are grateful we were correct) was temporary. Plus we were young and dumb and who didn't believe that things would always only get better?

I know the dilemma of relocating, as well. Our current living situation is ideal in some ways as much is very walkable. Downside is that I think the local health care is substandard and there are virtually no decent restaurants or shopping to be found unless you travel for at least an hour and if you really want to have good choice, two hours. Which is doable but who wants to go out on a Saturday night if it involves a 4 hr. round trip? We're too old for that and prefer our own bed most of the time. This is relatively trivial. Trust me: I know I know: first world problems, right? And decently well off ones at that. As long as neither of us ever needs long term care, we could maintain this forever.

One of our kids is still living locally; the others are not. We've talked about moving to the metropolitan area (2 hrs away) to be closer to other kids plus more health care options, plus dining/shopping/museums/etc. It would be more expensive, for certain and that gives me huge pause. I know there is no guarantee we would get to see our kids more. They are young enough that they might relocate, plus they're busy. It would be nice to be able to just pop over for dinner or meet up to do something. It would mean starting over mostly from scratch, socially.

Hubby has offered to move back to my home state, which I could not leave fast enough at 21. I have a limited amount of family there, and even more limited number with whom I wish to spend time, as sad as that makes me. My best friend and her hubby still live there and it is for that reason that hubby offered to move. But the truth is that she and her hubby might relocate to be nearer one of their adult kids, either in a different part of the state or else out of state. Besides, I would not want to place the burden on them of: we moved here to be near you!!!! That's kind of a lot.

Another friend or two has returned to that area to live, for various reasons, so that would be an attraction/potential attraction. Aside from having some friends in the area, there is no reason I would ever want to even visit there, much less move there. I don't really enjoy the more suburban/urban areas and even the small towns are either disappearing or becoming strip malled out of existence. McMansions now stand where there used to be perfectly good corn fields, pastures, soybeans. It's depressing. So, I think: no. It's a sweet offer but not likely. He doesn't want to move to the area where he grew up and I think that's wise. It would be much more expensive to live in an area where I would like to live there, and his family is very tiny and he really hasn't maintained contact with school friends in the area, many of whom have moved away, except for the occasional school reunion.

Our college friends are really scattered and again: I think it would be a huge bonus to move and end up near friends but I don't want to make that the only reason we move somewhere.

We still live in the big old house where we raised our kids. For now, we're keeping it because it's conveniently located if you are going to live here. Very walkable to many necessities and to hubby's work (although when he retires, that will be less reason to stay in this house). It also needs some major renovations in order to be able to sell it for what we would want to get--or simply to be comfortable here. Yard is small and it's become less quiet as time has gone on, so that's a negative although hubby isn't disappointed at not having a big yard. Housing is cheap here and old houses are particularly cheap so there is that old balance to consider: reno to be what we want it to be would never be financially a sound investment. We'd never get the money back at re-sale.

I hear you about spouse willing to let me make (big) decisions without actually helping make the decision. Another layer to this is that my husband is happy or happy enough with his work, and with where we live, including living in a place that needs a lot of work. It's hard for me to justify making him leave where he is happy in order to chase my own happiness. Ideally, we'd find a place where we could both be happy or happy enough. But increasingly, I fear this is where we will stay.

Is re-homing the parrots a necessity/desire or just something you think you should do?

Good luck re: knee surgery. You deserve to not have to deal with painful knees.

 

[Elixir]

Hard to know about your situation Toni, but I tend to agree with Alex. Retirement as a concept is hard-core nuts and bolts about money/sustainability. But retirement as a reality is far more about who you want to be, as a "retiree".
An awful lot of people I know who drew a line and stepped over it into retirement, found themselves unhappy. Not so much that their sense of self was invested in their workplace persona, as that they didn't realize of much their connection to society as a whole was dependent upon the interface with society that the workplace provided.
That's sort of what is afflicting me right now ... outside of work, I have good connections to the local horse community... trainers, riders, hay ranchers etc.. But the workplace connects me to the art community, music, law enforcement, social work etc. etc., all of which enriches my day to day experience. I don't think I could keep those connections, absent some rationale (no matter how flimsy) for interacting with them.

Beware of what you want, Toni.

Because I have a long commute to work, i don't have much of a relationship with co-workers outside of work. The long commute also has severely hampered my more local social life. It is almost impossible for me to just have a casual dinner with friends, for example. Almost always any volunteer activity I want to engage in happens when I have to work. One of the big reasons we don't travel is because it's really hard for me to get away from work for longer than a week or so. All of our vacations are within a days travel because of this. And on this continent, because otherwise the cost of airfare is hard to justify. Hubby has a more flexible schedule with long summer breaks. So there is also that disparity.

To be honest the only big thing I want to change is not having to go to work.

That makes a lot of sense - esp. the way work restricts your ability to participate as a volunteer.
Retirement for you sounds considerably different from retirement for me, so some of my input has been less-than-relevant. You have a good grasp of what you'd like to change in your life, and if retirement is clearly a component of the change you are trying to effect, I say go for it. The security element should not be the determining factor in that decision IMO. You wouldn't have let it override your wishes when you were young, right? If you can think of yourself as retaining some of that youthful resilience... I know it's hard, but things do work out.

 

[Toni]

Because I have a long commute to work, i don't have much of a relationship with co-workers outside of work. The long commute also has severely hampered my more local social life. It is almost impossible for me to just have a casual dinner with friends, for example. Almost always any volunteer activity I want to engage in happens when I have to work. One of the big reasons we don't travel is because it's really hard for me to get away from work for longer than a week or so. All of our vacations are within a days travel because of this. And on this continent, because otherwise the cost of airfare is hard to justify. Hubby has a more flexible schedule with long summer breaks. So there is also that disparity.

To be honest the only big thing I want to change is not having to go to work.

That makes a lot of sense - esp. the way work restricts your ability to participate as a volunteer.
Retirement for you sounds considerably different from retirement for me, so some of my input has been less-than-relevant. You have a good grasp of what you'd like to change in your life, and if retirement is clearly a component of the change you are trying to effect, I say go for it. The security element should not be the determining factor in that decision IMO. You wouldn't have let it override your wishes when you were young, right? If you can think of yourself as retaining some of that youthful resilience... I know it's hard, but things do work out.

Yes, for me, work is like being in a tunnel: for about half the year or more, I am up before daylight, drive to work, work at a job that is lucrative yet boring, albeit decent pay and for an entity I truly respect and admire, drive home, in the dark about half the year or more, eat dinner/crash&burn, rinse/repeat. A big part of that is simply geography. There are no decent paying jobs in my town and I've done enough of the low paying jobs to know that most employers in my town expect to pay their workers very little and to treat them poorly.

It's not how I want to live my life. I have been so disappointed in myself. I wanted a career. I have a job, the best in a series of jobs, but no opportunity to make much of a difference in anything aside from the size of my bank account and the cleanliness of my home. Not much in the way of social or intellectual or creative stimulation.
Not what I had in mind.

 

[rousseau]

Maybe I'm way too logical about it, but this seems like one of those things that's not as complicated as it's made out to be. Just need to analyze and understand your situation:

• How much money do I have
• How do I want to spend my retirement
• What sacrifices am I willing to make
• What risks am I willing to take

And if you're someone who's in their twenties or early thirties.. now is the time to start planning.

Although, given my current situation things are looking pretty good for me, one thing a friend of mine said to me a few years ago really changed my perspective. She said something along the lines of that it's not a human right to be able to retire. Before that point I had never thought of it that way. I had always thought retirement was just something I needed and should do, and that it was imperative that I accomplish a good retirement. It's not that I don't want that, but it made me realize that a part of my desire was simply for social acceptance and conformity, and that there's no reason I can't just continue working as long as I'm able.

 

[rousseau]

That makes a lot of sense - esp. the way work restricts your ability to participate as a volunteer.
Retirement for you sounds considerably different from retirement for me, so some of my input has been less-than-relevant. You have a good grasp of what you'd like to change in your life, and if retirement is clearly a component of the change you are trying to effect, I say go for it. The security element should not be the determining factor in that decision IMO. You wouldn't have let it override your wishes when you were young, right? If you can think of yourself as retaining some of that youthful resilience... I know it's hard, but things do work out.

Yes, for me, work is like being in a tunnel: for about half the year or more, I am up before daylight, drive to work, work at a job that is lucrative yet boring, albeit decent pay and for an entity I truly respect and admire, drive home, in the dark about half the year or more, eat dinner/crash&burn, rinse/repeat. A big part of that is simply geography. There are no decent paying jobs in my town and I've done enough of the low paying jobs to know that most employers in my town expect to pay their workers very little and to treat them poorly.

It's not how I want to live my life. I have been so disappointed in myself. I wanted a career. I have a job, the best in a series of jobs, but no opportunity to make much of a difference in anything aside from the size of my bank account and the cleanliness of my home. Not much in the way of social or intellectual or creative stimulation.
Not what I had in mind.

I can feel this a bit. In my early twenties I had grand ambitions and ideals which slowly slipped into reality. After that fact I figured that Western culture often feeds us the idea of filling our potential, achieving dreams, changing the world is what we should aspire to, when realistically that's not really how the world works.

The job I'm in now is much like yours. I really like it, but would not say I'm enthusiastic about it. I'm mostly here because my fiance's family lives in this area so we decided to settle, despite the IT market being fairly limited in terms of interesting work. I make a good salary with great benefits, but day to day life can be a slog.

The way I sell it is that my career is not my life but what I use to support my life. The things that happen after I punch out, having dinner with my fiance, living in a reasonably priced house, liking the city I live, being near family, that's what I get out of it. In that way my work is a means to an end, rather than an end in itself (although I did take great pains to become a software developer).

 

[T.G.G. Moogly]

I simply take my net worth and divide it by 25 years. Then I add SS to that. Remember also that your money will be worth less and less as the years pass. I'll be retiring just before age 65 and think I'll be okay. I'm not a long term care person. Would simply rather just pass on, so I don't think about long term care costs.

 

[Toni]

Maybe I'm way too logical about it, but this seems like one of those things that's not as complicated as it's made out to be. Just need to analyze and understand your situation:

• How much money do I have
• How do I want to spend my retirement
• What sacrifices am I willing to make
• What risks am I willing to take

And if you're someone who's in their twenties or early thirties.. now is the time to start planning.

Although, given my current situation things are looking pretty good for me, one thing a friend of mine said to me a few years ago really changed my perspective. She said something along the lines of that it's not a human right to be able to retire. Before that point I had never thought of it that way. I had always thought retirement was just something I needed and should do, and that it was imperative that I accomplish a good retirement. It's not that I don't want that, but it made me realize that a part of my desire was simply for social acceptance and conformity, and that there's no reason I can't just continue working as long as I'm able.

Your friend must be young and is certainly incorrect. The truth is that we all slow down a certain point in our lives. That point may vary a great deal, depending on health, for starters. Also family circumstances. Many people my age, for instance, find that their time is required to are for aging parents, grandchildren, a spouse whose health is not good, for starters. Often a combination of these. When I was still a teenager, my mother suffered a traumatic brain injury and was hospitalized for months, tecouperatong/rehabbing for months after that. I was the oldest kid still at home with younger siblings. I got a good preview of what is now called the sandwich generation, when in addition to your own life, you have children and an aging parent requiring your time and energy. So I had school, running the household, caring for younger siblings (who were also traumatized by circumstances) plus helping my mother rehab when she was home plus stuff with my dad, grandparents whose health was failing. I was an extremely energetic and capable teenager with all that teenage energy and it nearly broke me. Doing that in my 50-60's--even with better financial circumstances and much better care options: I have deep sympathy and admiration for anyone in such circumstances.

Your friend is frankly a clueless idiot who does not realize that more opportunities open for younger folk when older ones retire.