Larry Baer

[RavenSky]

I’ve known a number of abused women who covered for their husbands.

I cannot imagine any man I would be in any sort of relationship with grabbing something from me with such force that I fell off my chair. It is difficult to imagine any decent person treating his or her spouse so callously.

That's not what happened.

She pulled the phone so hard she lost her balance.

It's TWO people fighting over a phone.

Two to tango.

Two aggressive people.

bullshit

The lengths some people will go to trying to excuse a man's violence

- - - Updated - - -

You can't blame the victim here. She took someone else's phone, so she's responsible for the consequences of that person taking his phone back from her.

She’s the victim. I don’t blame her. I blame him for behaving violently towards his spouse, as I would blame her were the roles reversed. This is not the way one should treat one’s spouse or anyone you care about.

Ffs, I do not require that my husband ask my permission to touch any of my belongings. He does not require that I get his permission to touch his. I’m pretty sure he has the password to my email if he bothers to remember it. I might be annoyed if he went through my email or my phone but I would hardly knock him to the ground for doing so. He sometimes uses my computer and sometimes I use his. He’s answered my phone for me, and I gave answered his. I’ve read him his texts if he didn’t have his glasses. Nor did I attack him physically or verbally for taking cash from my purse or my car keys because he needed my car. Why on earth would I? Why would I be married to someone I could not trust, or who could not trust me? I certainly cannot imagine knocking to the ground any person I cared about—over a cell phone, ffs. Or anything.


This was not a man trying to retrieve stolen property from a stranger. This was a man who is not capable of behaving civilly to his spouse.

^^^ That

- - - Updated - - -

Suppose I am on a subway and some woman grabs my phone.

And I grab it back with vigor.

Have I assaulted somebody?

1. She didn't grab anything from you.
2. She's your wife.

 

[RavenSky]

Married people share property, even if he calls it his phone.

No. SHE calls it his phone and SHE says she took it without his permission. I'm of the position that we should believe women when they tell us what happened.

SHE did NOT say she "grabbed it" or "stole it" or any of the other fucking bullshit people have been making up to excuse her husband's violence against her.

I'm of the position that people really shouldn't excuse this type of assault & battery just because it was his spouse he assaulted.

 

[RavenSky]

We can see the video.

Clearly you can not

 

[Tom Sawyer]

No, she clearly said that she took his phone and that she doesn’t have a problem with his grabbing it back. It was linked to earlier in the thread. She actually doesn’t need you popping by to protect her.

I’m sure she really appreciates being infantilized and having her statements ignored so that people can take away her moral agency, though. Very 1950s of you.

 

[RavenSky]

that she doesn’t have a problem with his grabbing it back. .

NOT what she said. (And even if it some alternative universe she did say it, the violence he displayed STILL is not OK)

As for your continued ridiculous attempts to make this a gender issue, that's all on you 100%.

MY opinion would be the same even if the situation had been reversed.

 

[Angry Floof]

No, she clearly said that she took his phone and that she doesn’t have a problem with his grabbing it back. It was linked to earlier in the thread. She actually doesn’t need you popping by to protect her.

I’m sure she really appreciates being infantilized and having her statements ignored so that people can take away her moral agency, though. Very 1950s of you.

Holding men accountable and expecting them to have some self control is neither infantilizing or ignoring anyone. It's not about her at all. It's about his behavior, which is inexcusable. I'm glad his mongrel temper and violent reaction was caught on camera regardless of what his wife did or whether she's an asshole for looking at his phone.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

that she doesn’t have a problem with his grabbing it back. .

NOT what she said. (And even if it some alternative universe she did say it, the violence he displayed STILL is not OK)

As for your continued ridiculous attempts to make this a gender issue, that's all on you 100%.

MY opinion would be the same even if the situation had been reversed.

Ya, flipping the genders wouldn't change my opinion either. It was a reasonable response to retrieve his own property and it was the resistance of this reasonable response which caused the aggressor to fall down.

 

[untermensche]

That's not what happened.

She pulled the phone so hard she lost her balance.

It's TWO people fighting over a phone.

Two to tango.

Two aggressive people.

bullshit

The lengths some people will go to trying to excuse a man's violence

Yeah, that's what happened. Nobody was hurt at all.

This was violence from a man and a woman. If you call fighting over a phone violence.

 

[Toni]

that she doesn’t have a problem with his grabbing it back. .

NOT what she said. (And even if it some alternative universe she did say it, the violence he displayed STILL is not OK)

As for your continued ridiculous attempts to make this a gender issue, that's all on you 100%.

MY opinion would be the same even if the situation had been reversed.

Ya, flipping the genders wouldn't change my opinion either. It was a reasonable response to retrieve his own property and it was the resistance of this reasonable response which caused the aggressor to fall down.

Ya, and it's the resistance of the victim that makes a rapist out of a man who just wants to stick his dick wherever he wants regardless of how the other person feels about it.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Ya, flipping the genders wouldn't change my opinion either. It was a reasonable response to retrieve his own property and it was the resistance of this reasonable response which caused the aggressor to fall down.

Ya, and it's the resistance of the victim that makes a rapist out of a man who just wants to stick his dick wherever he wants regardless of how the other person feels about it.

Well, only if she'd taken his penis without his permission and he accidentally sticks it in her while trying to take it back.

Also, for the sake brevity in the next series of posts:

Nuh-uh

Uh-huh

Nuh-uh

Uh-huh

 

[untermensche]

Ya, and it's the resistance of the victim that makes a rapist out of a man who just wants to stick his dick wherever he wants regardless of how the other person feels about it.

Facts of life.

One problem here is these two have no sex life.

 

[barbos]

He physically assaulted his wife. There is no excuse for his behavior. I've been married for almost forty years and my husband knows that any type of physical violence would be the deal breaker in our relationship. We get mad at each other sometimes, but no matter how angry my husband might be, he has never done anything like that asshole did.

I don't care if she took his fucking phone. Physical violence is not the way that your protest when your partner grabs something like your phone. And, if for some reason he didn't want his wife to look at his phone record, he shouldn't have let told her his passcode.

here is an example of assault

 

[dismal]

Ya, and it's the resistance of the victim that makes a rapist out of a man who just wants to stick his dick wherever he wants regardless of how the other person feels about it.

Ya, but she's the rapist here. She's fingering his phone without consent. He stops the phone rape.

 

[Tom Sawyer]

Ya, and it's the resistance of the victim that makes a rapist out of a man who just wants to stick his dick wherever he wants regardless of how the other person feels about it.

Ya, but she's the rapist here. She's fingering his phone without consent. He stops the phone rape.

But was it really rape? I mean, the phone was sitting there in that skimpy little transparent case, so it was kind of asking for it.

 

[barbos]

That's very pertinent to the discussion.

 

[thebeave]

Seems to me there is a lot of exaggeration going on in the initial incident and these comments. First off, she seems to be overly melodramatic with her "oh my god!, oh my god!" when he tries to get his phone back and she tips over in her chair. She acts like she's getting mugged by a stranger. I wonder if she's purposely doing that to get attention from nearby people, so as to make him look as bad as possible. There have been numerous times when I've come running over to a woman who screamed like she's being attacked by a bear, only to find out she saw a harmless spider or a mouse or a scary face in her coffee foam. The reaction is not always an indication of the severity or the danger.

We call this incident "violence", "assault", etc. That seems a bit much to me, based on the video. I suppose now she is considered a "survivor" (as if there was ever any chance of death here), and will be entering a DV shelter while he loses his hard fought career of many decades. There are real, horrific cases of assault and violence against women out there, and to use the same language here diminishes what those victims go through. From what I hear, he is actually taking a voluntary leave of absence for an indefinite period of time, so who knows where this will lead. Maybe the radical feminists will get their pound of flesh from him the same way they did with Professor Tim Hunt.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Hunt

 

[TSwizzle]

Holding men accountable and expecting them to have some self control is neither infantilizing or ignoring anyone. It's not about her at all. It's about his behavior, which is inexcusable. I'm glad his mongrel temper and violent reaction was caught on camera regardless of what his wife did or whether she's an asshole for looking at his phone.

How about we hold her accountable too ? i.e. have some manners and return someone's property to them when requested ?

 

[Toni]

Seems to me there is a lot of exaggeration going on in the initial incident and these comments. First off, she seems to be overly melodramatic with her "oh my god!, oh my god!" when he tries to get his phone back and she tips over in her chair. She acts like she's getting mugged by a stranger. I wonder if she's purposely doing that to get attention from nearby people, so as to make him look as bad as possible. There have been numerous times when I've come running over to a woman who screamed like she's being attacked by a bear, only to find out she saw a harmless spider or a mouse or a scary face in her coffee foam. The reaction is not always an indication of the severity or the danger.

We call this incident "violence", "assault", etc. That seems a bit much to me, based on the video. I suppose now she is considered a "survivor" (as if there was ever any chance of death here), and will be entering a DV shelter while he loses his hard fought career of many decades. There are real, horrific cases of assault and violence against women out there, and to use the same language here diminishes what those victims go through. From what I hear, he is actually taking a voluntary leave of absence for an indefinite period of time, so who knows where this will lead. Maybe the radical feminists will get their pound of flesh from him the same way they did with Professor Tim Hunt.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Hunt

Y'all are acting as though he is retrieving his phone from a stranger.

In fact, it's his wife who picked up his phone when he was away from the table (or so it appears).

In all probability, the phones are under a joint account. It is likely that they simply decided one phone was his and one was hers. It is even possible she did not know when she picked it up that it was his and not hers. We don't actually know the ins and outs.

Perhaps she was being dramatic. Certainly he was. There seems to have been zero compelling reason for him to snatch the phone away from her, with such force that she fell to the ground. Please note the amount of body contact between a standing Larry Baer and a sitting Pamela Baer. He leaned across her body in such a way that he made full contact with her.

When I was a kid, sometimes my younger sibling took something that belonged to me and wouldn't return it to me the first or the first 10 times I asked for it back. My parents really enforced that it was not OK for me to knock my sibling to the ground or otherwise assault my sibling in order to regain my property. Usually this was followed by a stern lecture about sharing--directed at me. If I can learn to behave decently by the time I was 9 or 10 years old, why can't a grown ass man?

 

[TSwizzle]

Y'all are acting as though he is retrieving his phone from a stranger.

It makes no difference who took the phone, it's his phone and he asked for it back. She should have returned the phone to him.

In all probability, the phones are under a joint account.

It's his phone.

 

[Toni]

Y'all are acting as though he is retrieving his phone from a stranger.

It makes no difference who took the phone, it's his phone and he asked for it back. She should have returned the phone to him.

In all probability, the phones are under a joint account.

It's his phone.

He should not have knocked her to the ground.

I think one offense is much worse than the other.