How long can you stand the silence of a pending question?

[Rhea]

You’re in a class, or a conversational group, and someone asks a question. Assuming that you have an answer or an input, but perhaps you don’t want to be the first to speak, how long can you stand the silence before you give your answer?

And why?

Some possible scenarios for discussion:
- you’re in a class, and the teacher asks, “how would you approach this?”
- you’re in a class and the instructor says, “who would like to start introductions?”
- You’re in a conversational group and someone asks, “does anyone have any ideas for our summer outing?”

 

[bilby]

Indefinitely.

If I am not the only person there, there's zero chance of me being first to speak.

Once someone else breaks the ice though, you probably can't shut me up - particularly if the first person to speak was full of shit

 

[fast]

I voted 10 seconds or less. It depends. Sometimes quicker—sometimes not.

The bottom two choices wouldn’t typically apply to me.

 

[DBT]

I'd give it a while, wait and see what happens...

 

[bigfield]

Once upon a time I was the "designated outspoken mature age student" in my History and English tutorials. I was only in my early twenties, but that was several years older than pretty much everyone else.

Every tutorial, the tutor would lead off discussion with a question and invite comment. I would wait the customary picosecond and then talk non-stop for five minutes before he/she told me to "shut up" and let someone else contribute. This would happen over and over again for the whole 50 minutes.

I know it would have been better to let other people to have a turn muttering some inane garbage, but I had important opinions*, dammit.


*garbage opinions

 

[Tom Sawyer]

It would have been awesome if nobody ever responded to the OP and question was just left pending silently forever.

 

[fast]

It would have been awesome if nobody ever responded to the OP and question was just left pending silently forever.

I know right!

But, mr. never be first just HAD to get a word in (Bilby). Hehe

 

[Rhea]

I know it would have been better to let other people to have a turn muttering some inane garbage, but I had important opinions*, dammit.

I tend to speak right up. Not because I can't wait to air my opinions, but because it seems so mean to let the instructor/questioner wait and face silence. As I've aged, I've started to wait to "gove others a turn," but honestly, I'm just sitting there thinking, WTF are you waiting for, the instructor wants to know your opinion! Why are you making them suffer and ask three or four times to get the discussion going!? I know you have an opinion, it's being asked for! Then after the 10-30 seconds go by, I speak up and say mine to get them started. I'm just doing the whole class a favor and taking the "speaks first" horror off the table for them.

 

[Jolly_Penguin]

If nobody else is answering, after 40 seconds, I run out of the room screaming in terror. It tends to get the discussion going. When I come back everybody is talking.

 

[bigfield]

I know it would have been better to let other people to have a turn muttering some inane garbage, but I had important opinions*, dammit.

I tend to speak right up. Not because I can't wait to air my opinions, but because it seems so mean to let the instructor/questioner wait and face silence. As I've aged, I've started to wait to "gove others a turn," but honestly, I'm just sitting there thinking, WTF are you waiting for, the instructor wants to know your opinion! Why are you making them suffer and ask three or four times to get the discussion going!? I know you have an opinion, it's being asked for! Then after the 10-30 seconds go by, I speak up and say mine to get them started. I'm just doing the whole class a favor and taking the "speaks first" horror off the table for them.

Yeah, um, that's what I meant...

 

[rousseau]

Depends on the context.

When I was in college as a mature student I enjoyed voicing my opinion and would speak up or ask questions pretty regularly. I wouldn't hog the spotlight, but I'd take it if it was there.

Whereas in my current job the likelihood of me making a fool of myself is a lot greater, so I tend to be much choosier and sparser about speaking.